my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
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Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
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Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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