Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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