Kiss
Puke
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
