ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
