Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
