there's paper in my vomit.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
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