I'm so fucking centered right now
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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