I puked a lego.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize