Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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