Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
