hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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