It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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