shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
