Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
