We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
