Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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