Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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