There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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