i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
