I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
