You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize