not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
