Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Holy sore nipples Batman
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
