someone threw a dead crab at me
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
