I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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