Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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