woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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