What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
