So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
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Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
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i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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