Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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