Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You ruined the universe
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
