god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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