how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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