i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
