as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
My dick has a subreddit
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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