FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
