So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?