You're my little dorito
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it