You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Two words: blizzard sex