I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over