Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
two words...techno handjob
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
She even gives head with a lisp.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.