Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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