at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
40s are totally the cure
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
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