my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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