i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
