it hurts more in the daytime
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
