He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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