Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
