Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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