He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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