That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
