He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
