whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize