Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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