no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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