Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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