id be glad to
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
