I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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