yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
