Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
