2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
