She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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